The Actual True Story of K
(Based on a True Story)
Schrodinger Katz

In 1912 short story writer K fell in love with Felice and they lived happily ever after until alas he gave up punctuation and therefore metamorphosed into a giant cockroach so she abandoned him (as did everybody else) but before she left she did him one last favor by bringing in entomologist Milena who didn't mind sleeping with a giant cockroach and they lived happily ever after until alas K got deep, deep into an electron diet (the internet) and was turning into little more than a shadow of himself so Milena called in physicist-dietitian Dora but alas that was a mistake because K picked her brain and discovered the delightful paradoxes of quantum physics and used his new discovery to build an internet tunnel back through time to Schopenhauer and when Schopenhauer told him desire can never be fulfilled K realized the problem was his era's foolish dependence on morality so he built a new internet tunnel forward to today's reality where nobody cares about anything except money and where sexual desire can be substituted for emotional commitment (something K was never much interested in anyhow).

K gave up even using apostrophes and became a Wall Street hedge fund manager and lived happily ever after.

Copyright 2011. All rights reserved.

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